Regret and Guilt
by Moultipass1
Summary: "You should thank me, love. Hating me's going to make everything so much easier." - short OS set after 4x09


**This is only my second attempt at Klaroline (sort of, the first one is a crossover with Firefly, I'm not sure it counts :)), I hope I did it justice. **

**I'm usually a happy ending kind of girl, but I tried to be realistic, and after the way 4x09 ended, I don't see Caroline forgiving him, at least not right away. Not much happens here, it could just be a missing scene at the end of the episode. I'm still reading my way through all the stories out there, sorry if this has been done before.**

**Rated T for language.**

**English is not my first language, please feel free to point out any mistake.**

**I'll stop rambling now and just add that I don't own anything. And that reviews are greatly appreciated :D**

**Enjoy!**

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Caroline and Stefan have gone their separate ways to try and figure out where everyone is. He's just called her to tell her about the mutilated bodies in the woods. He's not sure how many there are, but they can make a pretty good guess. He promised her that Tyler is not one of them and she feels better, if only slightly.

She heads towards the Lockwood Mansion, figuring it's as good a place as any to start looking for him.

What she sees from a distance stops her dead in her tracks.

She can't see the face of the woman who is leaning over the edge of the fountain, obviously dead already, but she recognises her outfit, and the shock, doubled with the fact that Klaus is here, is enough to keep her frozen in place.

She can understand the slaughter of the hybrids. Certainly not support it, but it was more or less self-defence, given what they had in store for him. She can't blame him for trying to stay alive at all costs, no matter how much his methods disgust her.

So yeah, she gets it.

And before you ask, yes, she hates herself for this.

What she can't and hopefully never will understand is the murder of Carol Lockwood.

Tyler's mother wasn't a threat to him. Neither is Tyler. Not anymore. Not now that his allies are all dead. _Except for you_, an inner voice that sounds suspiciously like _him_ reminds her.

She shivers and pushes the thought away. She'd rather focus on her previous train of thought. While disturbing, it's certainly not as scary as the idea that she might be his next victim. If he decides that Tyler deserves to suffer some more, she's a perfect target. And she somehow knows that with her, he would make it personal. She would not get the mercy of a quick execution. Drowning would look like a painless way to go.

Stop.

She can't think about that. Not without completely freaking out.

Back to Carol Lockwood. _Why?_

Of course, she knows the logic behind his actions. In case anyone had any doubts left, everybody in Mystic Falls will now know what happens to those who try to beat him at a game he's been playing for longer than any of them. They end up dead or wishing they were. The message is quite simple, really. _Don't_.

That's enough of a protection that he knows he'll be safe for a while, at least until his enemies either recover or forget. Whichever comes first.

He can't be loved, so he'll be feared.

The reasoning is pretty straight-forward. It makes a twisted kind of sense.

She just doesn't understand how anyone can actually think like that. And act on it.

Moreover, she can't reconcile the man who laughed with her over her Miss Mystic application with the blood-covered monster who is currently sitting near a fountain, a bottle in one hand while the other absentmindedly rests on the dead body beside him.

She flashes back to the first time she saw him as a human being – sort of – when he told her about his father killing his favourite horse.

Damn it.

Damn him, for making her forget what he is, even for just a second.

Damn his drawings and the offers she didn't take him up on and his gifts and his sweet words and his smiles and their _moments_.

Damn that fucking hummingbird. She hates this tiny creature that's probably been dead for decades more than she ever thought possible.

Damn the meaningful looks.

And damn her, for falling for it.

Because she was.

Damn it, she _was_.

Tears gather in her eyes as she finally admits it to herself, but she doesn't let them fall. She can't. If there's ever a moment in her life when she needs to be strong, it's now.

Yes, she betrayed him. Plotted with Tyler to get rid of him. Because he's evil and she's always known it and in spite of everything she absolutely _refused_ to feel, she _knew_ that the world was going to be a better place without him in it.

Maybe not _her_ world, but that was irrelevant.

She felt guilty every step of the way. It's like Stefan said. They seem to be the only ones aware of the fact that Klaus isn't that different from them.

Or maybe they're just the only ones who are willing to admit it.

"Don't just stand there, sweetheart. I'll let you hit me if it can make you feel better."

She jumps at the sound of his voice, but she quickly recovers and realizes that it might, in fact, make her feel better, so without taking the time to wonder how long he's known she was here, she flashes towards him and punches him hard, putting all her vampire strength and speed in it. He's as good as his word; he doesn't try to dodge or fight back, and that just makes her angrier. So she hits him again, and again, and again, until the dried blood on his face is covered with his own and the evidence of the massacre that took place earlier is concealed underneath it.

After that, she hits him again, and again, and again, until her arms tire and her knuckles are sore and even her back hurts from the force of her assault.

And then she punches him one last time, just for good measure.

He takes it all in stride, not once making a move to escape her fury or hold her back or defend himself.

She briefly wonders if he's doing this for her or if it's about self-loathing.

When she stops, she knows she has just made a huge mistake. It made her feel better, yes – for all of two seconds. Until she realizes that it meant too much. That even if he didn't before, he knows now.

Because you don't get to live a thousand years without picking up on a few things along the way.

Like the fact that if someone hates you as much as she's just shown she hates him, it's usually because they're more than angry.

They're hurt.

_She's_ hurt.

She's hurt because like every other delusional woman in the history of mankind who's ever fallen for the bad guy thinking that she would be the one to save him, she's just been proven wrong.

She's hurt because she knows without a doubt that his feelings for her – whatever they are – are _real_. But they're not enough.

She's hurt because while she never actually went ahead and betrayed her friends for him, there were a few instances when she wondered if she should give him at least a vague warning.

And she's furious with herself for her loss of control just now because she's not usually a violent person and she didn't want him to know that he had so much power over her.

But she also knows that she's been fooling herself anyway. No matter how much she tried to hide it, no matter how annoyed she's always acted around him, no matter how many times she's turned him down because it was the right thing to do, he can't have missed the few genuine laughs or this fucking destructive _hope_.

"Feeling better?"

"No."

"Sorry."

She lets out a bitter chuckle at the absurdity of the situation. Out of all the things he should be apologizing for, he chose this? Then again, how would he even begin to apologize for everything else, even if he wanted to?

"You know you just lost me, right?" she half-asks, half-states.

"Yes, I know."

His voice is deceptively quiet, and – sadly – she knows him well enough to know what it means. He's resigned. She gives a sigh and sits down next to him, taking the bottle from him to take a sip and frowning when she sees that it's empty. She lets it fall to the ground and – for the first time ever – wishes that he would look at her.

What is it they say about being careful what you wish for?

When he does look at her, she has to make a conscious effort not to recoil.

Because his eyes are completely blank, and she doesn't know how to deal with this. Angry Klaus she can handle pretty well. Charming Klaus she's gotten used to. Teasing Klaus she finds rather fun. Murderous Klaus she would just run away from. Vulnerable Klaus she's only seen once or twice, but still knows what to do with. Cold Klaus she's mostly grown immune to. Manipulative Klaus she's learned to... well, maybe not outsmart, but at least recognize and match.

Empty Klaus?

That's new.

And freaking terrifying.

And also a little depressing, which in turn is confusing.

So, to get rid of this version of him that's scaring her shitless, she asks a question that she knows will get a reaction out of him.

"Do you know where Tyler is?"

His eyes flare in anger at the name, and she's awfully relieved.

"No."

She believes him. If he knew, it would be Tyler's body they would be talking over. Ok, maybe not talking. If he had killed Tyler, she would have tried to kill him and ended up dead herself.

Which reminds her...

"We _are_ going to find a way to kill you eventually. And this time, when it happens, I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I'm going to feel regret for the man I thought you could be, but not guilt."

He shrugs, but a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. She can't quite decide if it's amused, challenging, tired or annoyed. Maybe a little bit of everything. Not that it matters.

"Do your worst."

He has every reason to be confident. She's lost count of the number of times they've tried to kill him, and he only gets stronger while they keep losing people they care about. She would find the irony amusing if it wasn't so tragic.

Her gaze travels to Carol's corpse, driving home the fact that Tyler has now lost both of his parents. Images of her own father dance before her eyes and with him comes everyone who's suffered at the hands of vampires or werewolves or Originals. She can feel her features harden into a mask of pain and hatred, and of course, he doesn't miss it.

"You should thank me, love. Hating me's going to make everything so much easier."

She wants to hit him again for this, but she doesn't have the slightest bit of energy left. Besides, he's right, and there's not much she can do about that.

So she does the only thing she can think of. She hates him just a little bit more.

Since there's nothing left to say and the only thing she really wants to do is kill him – which isn't going to happen, she _does_ have some sense left – she stands up and gives him one last hard look before walking away.

"Caroline." His voice as he calls her name is soft, and against her better judgement, she turns around to face him, curious about what he deems important enough to tell her before they officially become enemies again. "I do care about you, you know."

She nods in acknowledgement before replying, "And you know that it doesn't matter anymore."

"Has it ever?"

"It could have," she whispers because it's suddenly hard to talk over the lump in her throat.

"I wish you'd lied."

She gives a tired shrug.

"I wish I could have."

She hears a faint cracking noise behind her and sighs when she recognizes Stefan's footsteps. She doesn't know how long he's been here, but he's probably heard more than enough. Thankfully, out of everyone she knows, he's the only one who's probably going to be understanding about this. Feeling his hand on her shoulder and the gentle pressure as he offers her his support, she shakes her head at Klaus and disappears with her friend.

They have a murder to plot. Again.

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**Fin**


End file.
